Improvitecture is a unique way to hear about the city of Chicago by their finest comedians! It is unique because instead of a traditional tour de facto you will hear and experience a funny perspective of buildings and locations including the Cloud Gate aka “The Bean”. The tour lasts up to two hours and you get to ask questions in which you’ll receive an extraordinary answer. Preview this tour by watching the video.
[Introduction] This tour is going to be partly based on your guys' suggestions on whatever you want to hear. Otherwise we have plenty of fake knowledge to tell you. If you have any ideas or questions along the way, feel free to shout them out and we'll respond to them. Any ideas at the moment?
Why is it called the second city? It's the first question, actually the second question. Anything else?[In front of Cloud Gate] This is still unanswered by Chicagoans. We believe it was delivered around the year 2000 thus the name Millennium Park by some sort of inter dimensional being. It's a scary thought but when you look into it, you're actually staring into another dimension and there's a parallel universe where you exist. Be kind of careful because if you're too close the other you will try to pull you into the other dimension. You'll be trapped over there and who knows if there's a couch for you there to crash on so you can touch it if not you can take a very original picture. When I say original, I mean not at all, of you taking a picture of me upside down...
Why is it so hot? That's actually part of the tour. But we're going to start this off and answer questions along the way and for random people that show up on...
You'd be a pioneer if you did that, a trailblazer taking a picture. A picture of you picturing that's even more than exists. Have you noticed the dimension you brought it to? Now what the bean actually does to you, it distorts you, makes you a little shorter, a bit wider. Making a representation of you like Roseanne Bar so that's what the bean does. Also some people have heard of bean town that's actually Chicago. Boston is not bean town so just get that straight. Chicago is famous for a lot things that Boston claims. Boston baked beans from Chicago, clam chowder, cream pies, that's all Chicago stuff.
Another thing Chicago is big for is sausage and hot dogs. Anybody heard of the Chicago hot dog? That's right we brought it from Boston. The first mayor of Chicago was an avid fan of hot dogs. How he liked to eat his hot dogs was upside down. The theory I have about the bean, it actually is an upside down sausage. So those of you with cameras take a picture of the bean upside down or if you want do a handstand and I'll hold your legs. It actually looks like an upside down sausage. So if you want to take an original picture, take a picture, flip it, and have yourself eating it because it looks like a sausage and shorter wider like Roseanne Barr. See how this fits? Great! Any questions about the bean so far?[Crowd dressed in blue and white entering] This is a regular process that happens. Every six months somebody comes to court the bean. They come to see if they want the parallel universe dummy to marry themselves. Someone proposes, there's a ring. The only problem is we haven't found a way to bring them over without going over ourselves. So the courtship process usually ends in tears, but there usually is a big feast afterwards. Everyone is pretty happy.
They actually approved this law in New York recently in order to do this so Chicago is lagging. Yeah the second city... In order to answer your question why it's called the second city is because we have two answers for everything. So if I answer a question and later on Robby says something that completely contradicts what I said, that's completely natural because it's Chicago and it's the second city here. It's also a way if we forget what we told you how to save ourselves.
As you can see, I know you guys think you are hot so if you want to cool down a little bit, you're more than welcome to. What the children's faces actually do is spit out a stream of water and the kids below, they love it. This comes from a long line from a Chicago tradition of spitting on children. Every Chicago resident needs to spit on a child okay, it's mandatory. Between the ages of three and nine. A perfect spitting age. This would be a prime example here. Anyone that wants to take a shot and spit on this child, you're more than welcome to. As you can see we have the face of children right here. Eventually they will spit and the kids go underneath it because it's a right of passage. You know there are bar mitzvah, confirmation, and there's spitting.
You got macaroni, glitter arts, and of course you have spin arts right over there. Yeah point your camera that way. This is the largest collection of spin arts in the World and that's what you see there. They made this by taking a vinyl record, putting it down, and putting paint all over it.
Let's continue on to the bridge. Before we do there are a couple of safety precautions. As you can see this a very dangerous tour so we have to make sure we're covering our bases here. Somethings that are not allowed on the tour... you can not walk your bear on this bridge. Please don't do that. Also no one from 1996 is allowed on this bridge. Over here, there are now circles allowed and no rectangles. So if you guys don't have a bear, don't have roller blades from 1996, no circles and rectangles, you guys are good to go. Are we all good? Okay cool let's head on the bridge. Just to warn you, it gets really hot.
Praça do Comércio is a very spacious commerce square with a direct view of the Tagus River. In the center is the Statue of King Jose. You can go on a boat ride here or enjoy several tours that are offered and many bus rides.